This post is massively inspired by the phenomenal Chloe Plumstead, who is my absolute favourite blogger out there right now. About a month ago she wrote a post entitled, “5 Cock Ups Which Prove I Don’t Have My Life Together” which has totally inspired me to write my own. Her post is linked here, and I would definitely recommend giving it a read. Some of the stories are absolutely fantastic and prime examples of how we’re all human and sometimes little white lies are necessary (or giant balls-ups) to make our way through life. So, without further ado, here are 5 times where I have messed up or totally embarrassed myself.
MY PANACHE FOR FALLING OVER
For some reason, I managed to inherit my mum’s clumsy nature. This means that I literally go arse over tit more frequently than most. Oh, falling over? That happens to me now and then. Yeah, you might think. Although, I seem to have a certain flair for always stumbling and falling over in the most serious of circumstances – or, when everyone can see. Take, for example, my three year anniversary with my boyfriend at the end of October. I had some little heels on that I know have zero grip and I kindly asked Adam to let me cling on to him as a shuffled like a senior across the hardwood floors. It was about 7pm, so the restaurant was reasonably full and Adam didn’t seem to realise how bad my shoes were. This mix really didn’t help my case and before long, I had gone flying and fell in front of everybody. Falling over isn’t too bad if you can quickly scurry away. Not so fabulous if you have to sit there for 2 hours after in front of all the witnesses. Needless to say, I ordered a large glass of wine and I definitely didn’t get up to go to the toilet. Adam also had the delight of me clinging to him like Jack on the raft in Titanic as I shuffled out after the meal (while being slightly inebriated).
CRIED IN BURGER KING ON MULTIPLE OCCASIONS
This story involves my best friend, Raff. Raff and I have a tradition of driving to the Burger King in York whenever we have a bad day and spending hours complaining and opening up whilst munching down on some burgers. On more than one occasion, this has left at least one of us in tears. There is nothing quite like having a stricken-faced Burger King employee come over to your table late at night to inform you that she has locked the doors and we have to leave out the back whenever we’re ready. After a quick glance around, we realised we were the only people sitting there, stuffing our tear-stained faces with fries. As much as a good cry and a burger often helps after a bad day (or week), being ushered out by an employee is another height of shame that I haven’t previously experienced. The worst bit, we go there so often they know who we are, I recognise all the staff and they’ve definitely seen me in some questionable states at odd hours of the night.
RIPPED MY TROUSERS…OR SKIRT…
I think most of us have been here. Apparently, I have just been there more often than most. I never seem to rip my items of clothing when there is nobody around or I am lucky enough to have a long coat with me to cover myself. Instead, it’s normally in the most crowded place possible with no hope for me. The first time was when I was at school and decided to jump on someone’s back. Queue a large rip and my trousers were essentially ripped from back to front. I just haven’t learned my lesson at all. Another time involved me being seconds from leaving the house for a friend’s 18th. Just as I went to put my shoes on, I completely ripped open my skirt. Queue me panicking as I have 5 minutes to put together a new outfit.
DRUNK TWITTER MISTAKES
A personal favourite was when I had a girls night before we all went off to university. In short, way too much wine was consumed and some pretty compromising photos were taken of me propped up, eating a slice of bread. This was actually the last time I have been ill from drinking (to my recollection…) and it is safe to say that ‘wine-drunk’ is nothing like being normal drunk. Probably took a solid week to recover. During this time, there were lots of photos being taken between rapping Nicki Minaj songs and eating crappy food – typical white girls. What I didn’t realise, until later on, was that rather than uploading one of these terrible photos to my personal Twitter account, I had instead uploaded it to the Sixth Form Leadership team account that I helped run as Head Girl. It also took me far too long to notice this mistake. Safe to say I logged out and handed over the details of the account very quickly.
I FORGOT MY CLOSE FRIEND’S NAME
When I first got to university, I was very nervous about making new friends. Luckily, a girl called Jas was doing the same course as me and was in the college next to mine so we often went to lectures together and spent a decent amount of time chatting. I loved the comfort of having her around and she is now one of my closest friends. Side note: she has a great blog about reading and she totally inspires me to better myself every day. This is all well and good now but there was a time where I couldn’t remember Jas’ name. In the chaos and stress of working my way around the university, I hadn’t remembered what her name was. I felt absolutely terrible every time I saw her and the closer we got as friends, the more embarrassing it was. We went about 2 weeks like this until she put her number on my phone. I told her this story last year and I’m not really sure how it went down! I have definitely learned my lesson and make a much more conscious effort now to not embarrass myself.