Like most people, I have body hangups. However, I never really have photos taken that are full length, or where I am deliberately attempting and failing to look good. Recently, I wanted to up my photography game on the blog and get the boyfriend to expand his duties to the amateur outfit photographer. Realistically, I don’t think the poor sod knew what he was letting himself in for…
Unfortunately, I soon found myself getting really worked up about the background not looking right, the angle being wrong, the lighting being off and ultimately about me not looking as fab as all the bloggers I obsess over on Instagram. Adam found himself taking 20 of the same photo for me to write-off every single one for such minor details. And really, it wasn’t a problem with the photo but a problem with me never really seeing my figure so many times before and having to accept it for what it is.
I’ve since taken a step back and just calmed down a little. I know that a lot of people may be annoyed that I appear to be suggesting I have ‘body problems’. To explain, I’m really not suggesting this is the case at all. I know I’m not in an unhealthy shape but it would be crazy to assume that everybody doesn’t get themselves down now and then about their appearance. What I’m trying to articulate is this was the first time that I saw my figure presented to me in over a 100 photos for me to be the sole judge of whether it was ‘good enough’ for Instagram. And of course, everyone is their own worst critic.
This is all really silly, I know. I both want to chastise myself for getting upset over something trivial but also not belittle how something has made me feel, especially without seeing if anybody else has ever felt the same. A bit of a weird limbo between “Gwon girl work it” and “Let me wear a sack and hide for 1000 years”.
Outfit blog photos aren’t something you tend to do every day and to take the step out of my comfort zone was really challenging. I honestly can’t wait to be confident in front of a camera and be content with the outcome but I know it will take time. I think it is naive to believe that this comes naturally for everyone. Some people are born to be photographed. I am just not one of them. But, it is all about learning what works best for you! I know that despite my personal struggles with my hair, it is a pretty damn defining and unique part of my appearance and I should showcase it more to stand out, for example.
I want to be brutally honest because that is how I always have been on here. It is a big deal for me to post the photo on the right. You may scroll up now and ask why? Well… the bunching of the dress makes my stomach look bigger than normal. And does it look big? No. I’ve decided to ignore my mind niggling away at me about it and post the photo because it is just a photo. And it isn’t the end of the world.
I think the moral of the story is that if you ever want to take some cute blog photos of your outfit or you looking fabulous down the closest street in your area to a replica of Kensington, don’t compare yourself! Please don’t think that your boyfriend taking photos in such a manner for the first time on an iPhone 7 is ever going to compare to a professional photographer and a blogger who has been doing it for years. I bet if you take a little journey back in most blogger’s photos, they all started at the same point. I’ve discussed the problems with comparing with amazing Instagram girls and the pitfalls that come with overanalysing every photo we take of ourselves. But, I want to reiterate, there is also no shame in taking inspiration of poses, locations and outfits here and there to help you along the way. If this is a new venture like it is for me, join me in being a nervous wreck on whether or not everyone is going to to be able to tell that you had a big ass takeaway the night before. I’m kidding of course. They won’t see, or even care, about the things you concern yourself with day-to-day so embrace some compliments and post on Instagram to your heart’s content. If anybody does have a problem, feel free to send them my way!
Ultimately, I think that the more I get used to this, the more comfortable I am going to be with my lumps and bumps. Because that is what makes me, me.