Hey, so this is something I haven’t written about in a long time and I feel super nervous to talk about this so go easy on me!
For a good few months things have been great and I have felt pretty good about my mental health and less like the world is exploding around me.
Recently, however, things have felt very different. If you’re reasonably new, you wouldn’t have known that last year I posted about my Depression Diagnosis and my First Counselling Session. I suffer with Atypical Depression which means:
“Atypical depression can be overwhelming, both physically and mentally. Unlike other types of depression, people with atypical depression can be briefly cheered up by positive events, but they overreact to negative events. A severe depression can be triggered by any feeling of rejection from a friend, boss, or loved one” – everydayhealth.com
Fun, eh? So while I have been going about my life reasonably happy, this niggle in my mind has stayed quite calm. Now, however, it’s like the sad and angry people in Inside Out reeking havoc in my mind. I feel lows and highs in every single day which is emotional chaos and I feel like I am constantly slipping from the standard I am meant to be at emotionally, academically and career wise.
I basically feel like everything is going wrong or sort of just not going. I feel pretty stagnant. Which to be honest, is a terrible feeling. A lot of it has been spurred on by recent events which has become very testing to the relationships I hold with the people around me and it’s really difficult for me to be okay with it all.
What is important is that I take time to breathe, go out and have a walk and clear my head and control the negative and consuming thoughts in my mind. I am a lot stronger then whatever is troubling me and each time I’m hit by Atypical Depression I fight harder to regain myself and I know this is the case (little bit of positive reinforcement there).
I apologise for such a deep post but I know that a lot of people used to message me about these posts and I wanted to update those that ask, and do care. There is also a large blogging community for those that need support or give support when it comes to mental health and I think it is extremely important to be open and talk about any struggles you may have.
So, at the moment, no I’m not okay – despite often seeming it – but I know I will be soon. I will resume with my nice happy posts from here, I promise!
If you wish to speak to anyone about mental health please contact Mind: 0300 123 3393 or text 86463.